I write books. Sometimes.

Recent Posts

  • Christmas

    Sat, Dec 26, 2009
    Read time: 1 min.
    Merry Christmas!
  • Triumphant Return

    Fri, Dec 25, 2009
    Read time: 1 min.
    I hope that the penguin took good care of my loyal audience in my absence. You’ll all be pleased to know that, thanks to my course in professional responsibility, I now know that it is generally considered unethical within the legal profession to cuss out judges and sell babies. In light of this n...
  • Penguin

    Sat, Dec 12, 2009
    Read time: 1 min.
    I am unable to post a blog this week due to finals at the law school. Or because I got too excited last week and posted more content than I usually do, and I’m making up for it now by being a slacker. Or some other excuse. Anyway, I drew you this penguin to make everybody feel better: Enjoy.
  • Spam Module

    Fri, Dec 04, 2009
    Read time: 1 min.
    In response to recent events, I have installed Drupal’s spam module on my website. There is the slight possibility that, as a result of this, you will be flagged as spam. This could be a mistake. Alternatively, consider the possibility that you are, in fact, a spambot, and that your whole life is an...
  • There Is No Hope

    Sun, Nov 29, 2009
    Read time: 1 min.
    Facebook is interesting in that now you can know for certain that not only have those embarrassing pictures been seen by all your friends and any prospective romantic interests or employers that you may have, but also that they have been indexed with your name, backed up regularly, and cached by a n...
  • Beware of Fish

    Sun, Nov 15, 2009
    Read time: 1 min.
    Today’s entry, like most, is the byproduct of a mixture of sleep-deprivation and screwing around on Wikipedia. Hence, the following: “The notion that goldfish have a memory of only three seconds is completely false.
  • Tales From The Park Side

    Sun, Nov 08, 2009
    Read time: 2 min.
    For those who have forgotten, I’m a second year law student. Consequently, on occasion I have been known to attend classes. And this is why I have to deal with one of the most frustrating aspects of law school: parking. Words cannot express the intense hatred I have for those tiny cars that hide ju...
  • Improved

    Mon, Nov 02, 2009
    Read time: 1 min.
    You may have noticed that all the old artwork has inexplicably been improving lately. At this time, I am not prepared to offer an explanation as to how or why this is occurring. However, I can safely say that it is not happening because I saw how much the old artwork paled in comparison to the mumm...
  • That Fresh Feeling

    Tue, Oct 27, 2009
    Read time: 1 min.
    I love how commercials talk about that “fresh from the dentist” feeling. I’m not sure I quite understand the appeal of feeling gritty, sore, and slightly violated. On a related note, why do you suppose it is that toilet paper commercials never talk about that “fresh from the proctologist” feeling?
  • It Returns

    Fri, Oct 23, 2009
    Read time: 1 min.
    After all this time, I thought I was safe. Through my complacency, I allowed myself to relax once more, letting my guard down. Then, when retrieving a towel from the closet after my shower this morning, I saw those beady little eyes staring at me through the darkness, piercing my soul? I don’t kn...