I write books. Sometimes.

Recent Posts

  • Doing Shots

    Sun, Apr 18, 2021
    Read time: 3 min.
    Because why not start out with a terrible pun? Today I took my first hit of the Pfizer vaccine. It was a well-run operation, I have to say. I showed up at the hospital and followed the trail of prominent “Vaccine Clinic” signs that they’d set out so that the process wouldn’t get held up by hapless...
  • Eleventy

    Sun, Feb 14, 2021
    Read time: 5 min.
    Long, long ago, when I set up this website, I decided to use a Content Management System (CMS) called Drupal. A CMS, if you’re not aware, is a type of software that people who can’t be bothered to learn HTML use to post their stupid thoughts on the Internet. Drupal made it easy enough to post my st...
  • Merry Grinchmas

    Mon, Dec 24, 2018
    Read time: 15 min.
    I’m now coming up on the first Christmas where my son has been cognizant enough to give a damn, and so lately we’ve been reading that beloved Christmas classic, How the Grinch Stole Christmas. This is what got me thinking about the Grinch again, and, as any of my regular readers know, it’s when I s...
  • Siiiick

    Fri, Jun 08, 2018
    Read time: 6 min.
    Despite the infrequency with which I post new blogs–and I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a terrible person who misses every writing deadline that he sets –it’s not often that it takes nearly half a year to write a single post that I’ve already started.
  • The Lumberjack and the Suit

    Tue, Oct 31, 2017
    Read time: 5 min.
    I’ve previously discussed my wife’s love of Hallmark Channel Christmas movies. Incidentally, to those who have read this blog and relied on it for investigative research purposes, I’d like to apologize and issue a minor correction.
  • Coming Home

    Fri, Sep 22, 2017
    Read time: 4 min.
    Recently, our apartment complex was acquired by another company, and in celebration, they decided to renovate everything. Oddly, this even included apartments that were still occupied, as opposed to the usual strategy of landlords everywhere, which is to wait until you move out, and then make the ap...
  • The Supermarket of the Damned

    Sat, Jul 29, 2017
    Read time: 1 min.
    For those who don’t live in the Indiana area, up until recently there was a chain of grocery stores called Marsh. I say recently because as of this month, Marsh is now a chain of empty buildings. This is either a surprising new business strategy, or the result of their descent into bankruptcy; eithe...
  • The Peeps Show

    Sun, Mar 19, 2017
    Read time: 3 min.
    I recently came to the disturbing conclusion that there is – for a limited time – such a thing as “Peeps Oreos.” Oreos, you may recall, are those cookies with a mediocre cream filling sandwiched between two godawful chocolate cookies, and Peeps are those flavorless marshmallow chicks you get around ...
  • The Chronicles of Oreo and Jake

    Sun, Feb 05, 2017
    Read time: 7 min.
    OREO… Oreo found her way to my wife while she was still in college, after bouncing around between homes that had cast her out because she wasn’t litterbox-trained. The truth, as it turned out, was that she was perfectly litterbox-trained, it was just sometimes hard to tell, owing to her chronic, ...
  • My Pet Baby

    Sun, Jan 29, 2017
    Read time: 4 min.
    So my son has recently turned three months old (and, coincidentally, this is my third post about parenthood, which I think officially makes this a mommy blog). At the moment, we’re still in the middle of what I refer to as the “My Pet Baby” phase.