FAQ
Reader Questions for the Author of
"Death Mill Mansion: A Lighthearted Comedy"
Question:
So remind me, which Hartzell-Baird are you?Answer:
I would be the brother. You’ll notice the name "William," or "Will" as it is shortened to here, is in fact a male designation.Question:
What was the inspiration for Death Mill Mansion: A Lighthearted Comedy?Answer:
It’s autobiographical. And based on a true story that may happen to someone in the future. Including the robots. And the vampires.Question:
Do you have any favorite pets?Answer:
No, but I do have a cat.Question:
What are your hobbies?Answer:
Rock painting, ice carving, and hamster choreography.Question:
What was your proudest moment?Answer:
When I won the spelling bee championship in third grade. Unfortunately, I was later stripped of my title for using performance enhancing drugs.Question:
What’s your favorite movie?Answer:
The YouTube video of the cat that flushes the toilet. Question:
How did you hear about CreateSpace?Answer:
My sister introduced me to this pregnant woman with this tattoo.Question:
If you were president, how would you save the U.S. economy?Answer:
Require everyone in the country to buy a puppy. The campaign slogan could be, "A puppy in every garage."Question:
Do you have any collections?Answer:
I used to collect ant farms, but disbanded my collection after they failed to yield any crops three seasons in a row. Question:
What’s your favorite color?Answer:
#054AFB. Crayola is planning to make a crayon out of it soon.Question:
If you had to choose a different career, what would it be?Answer:
Secret agent. The kind of secret agent who sits at a desk doing really boring paperwork all day, not the kind that actually goes out into the field and risks his life.Question:
Who’s your favorite author?Answer:
Dr. Seuss.Question:
How many digits of pi do you have memorized?Answer:
One. I just remember the "three."Question:
What’s your favorite programming language?Answer:
Python. What kind of person asks a question like this? Who are you?Question:
If you had any moment to live over again, what would it be?Answer:
November 8, 2003, approximately 8:49 a.m.Question:
What is your most embarrassing moment?Answer:
When my sister opened her speech at my niece’s first communion ceremony with the limerick: "There once was a man from Nantucket…."Question:
If you could meet any one person, living or dead, who would it be?Answer:
Who wants to meet a dead guy? Question:
I hear that you used to be a stunt double for a celebrity-impersonating puppeteer. Is there any truth to that?Answer:
No.Question:
What are your plans for the future?Answer:
This afternoon I plan to untangle the strings of my marionette collection. And I might go to a movie later.Question:
What’s your greatest regret? Answer:
I said "no" to that free refill. I should have said "yes."![[Image]](/sidebanners/ostrichsb.jpg)
